i suck at creating new routines
here's how i beat the system
In exactly 2 weeks, I’ll be turning 32. I always look forward to birthdays because they feel like an opportunity for rebirth, for reinvention, for a new start…but in the end, all I seem to face is disappointment. The older I get, however, the more I’m realizing that the transformation I anticipate can never come on its own; just like setting a successful New Years’ resolution, it has to be helped along. Which is why I’ve been spending the 30 days prior to my birthday doing some things different.
I thought about starting with a list - a list of all the things I wish I could change about myself. But the truth is, whenever I make a list like this, it becomes incredibly overwhelming. From my skin to my tummy to my personality to my career, I honestly feel like EVERYTHING could use some work. And I can’t change it all - heck, I shouldn’t have to. In fact, even thinking that I should creates a roadblock of self-hate and disapproval. So, ultimately, the list was a no-go.
I didn’t want to start from this negative space, as I have so many times before.
Instead, I began with taking a day to do whatever I wanted and get in touch with Me. I got an iced coffee and sat on the patio and started reading a new book. I went into my Hideaway (i.e. She Shed) and lit a candle and journaled alongside some old Disney sing-alongs. I went on a walk and listened to a podcast. I took a few photos. I talked to the goats. And while not all of this can be a reality in every day, it made me feel really good. It made me feel like myself. It even made me, dare I say, appreciate myself, my quirks, my many interests.
Guilt. Free.
So I rolled with it. I began setting a few guidelines and goals for my pre-birthday month. A “routine,” if you will:
MOST IMPORTANT, Journaling. It’s like, the oldest trick in the book, but a very easy thing to put off and not do for a day. (And then not do for a week, until suddenly it’s off your radar completely.) But the trick that has made it easier? It doesn’t matter when I do it, or how long I take, or how much I write. If I do it every day, Goal. Accomplished. (insert clap emoji here)
Daily Tarot Card Draw. Again, this takes very little time to do in the morning before heading to work. I’ve got one deck in the Hideaway, and one deck in my bedroom, so there are no excuses not to put the cards through a little shuffle and see what one can tell me. Ultimately, these cards have inspired my journaling and assisted in my self-examination. Instead of fretting over things, I’m taking pause and finding purpose, and it feels really great.
Time off from the ‘Gram. A few weeks ago, I realized that even the positive-minded accounts I was following were making me feel like I was lacking in some way. I needed to turn down the noise and listen to myself, and let me tell you, it’s been working. Also, I turned off my notifications. Most of them weren’t even serving me in the first place.
32 Squats a Day. Because I’ll be 32 and why not? It seriously takes NO time, and sometimes I do it two/three times throughout the day, even when I’m brushing my teeth - it’s that simple! It’s funny how accomplishing this one daily “workout” makes me feel stronger and more accomplished, and I’m here for that.
Yoga OR a Walk. Each day, I need some activity, but I can choose whatever feels good, and however long I want to do it. Plus, if I have a really hard, physical day at work, I’m allowing myself the grace to skip this without beating myself up over it. Rest is super important, too.
Creative Time. On my days off, I spend most of them in the Hideaway. I light a candle, sit cross-legged on my pouf on the floor, and set up my laptop on a tiny makeshift desk. From there, I either write or brainstorm. I crank up some music. Simply making this time for myself has been such a gift and has already brought a ton of clarity. It’s something to get excited about, and that excitement makes my creative time feel a lot less burdensome.
Basically, if you’re anything like me, the key to success is taking it easy on yourself. Don’t initiate changes or rules that self-shame and sabotage your good intentions. Do things that feel good, things that you want to do, even if they only consititute a few minutes in a busy day. Give yourself grace. If you fail, start again tomorrow. And feel free to change the rules along the way, as you learn what does/doesn’t work.
There’s literally no point in punishing yourself or bullying yourself into self-improvement, because if you’re nice about, it might just stick.