i believe in santa claus.
The other day, I was tasked with holding a ladder while the person above me cleared the gutters. With each swoosh of their hand, I would dodge the icy clumps of mud as I watched younger leaves fall around my head like little helicopters whizzing by my shoulders, my elbows, my knees, carving their own wayward paths through the winter air.
It was cold - I couldn’t feel my fingers or my toes, despite wearing gloves and boots - but watching these free spirits twirl about served as a welcome distraction. There were a lot of swirling thoughts going around in my head, but in that moment, I was open. Open to finding joy and wonder in unlikely places. Open to the magic we seek when things start feeling out of our control. Open to enchantment. Which got me thinking about a silly show we’d watched on Disney+ the night before - The Santa Clauses - and how, while watching, I’d thought,
“Yes, I do believe in Santa Claus.”
It felt funny to utter this phrase, even if only in my own head. I don’t think I’d said it since I was a child. But it was true. And there was a good reason it had come to mind.
The concept of believing lies at the core of any movie involving good ole Saint Nick - believing and the consequences that arise when the world ceases to remember the magic of Christmas. The telltale signs pile up like a well-seasoned recipe for disaster: consumerism and technology run rampant, overwork reigns supreme, the reindeer stop flying, and Tim Allen begins to look like himself again.
It’s like a message being sung to the busy, distracted masses: Don’t let these moments slip away from you. Don’t forget what this season is all about. Stop worrying about the mall traffic and just enjoy the carols on the radio, won’t ya?
There’s a 40-year-old song out there by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers in which the two go back and forth listing off everything they believe in - from family and friends, to maintaining a positive attitude, to dreams and wishes coming true - eventually coming around to a joyful chorus that proclaims (of course), “I Believe in Santa Claus.” But it’s not just a song for the kids. It’s a song for the kid in all of us.
Sometimes, it feels like we’ve become so desperate to claim we don’t believe that we forget what believing might actually signify - like, maybe Santa Claus is simply everything that is good in the world, and maybe that good is our hope when all seems lost. Maybe it’s not so cool to be tough.
Whether it’s a man in a fluffy red suit or a baby in a manger, isn’t it fun to be willing to suspend our disbelief in favor of believing? Isn’t it nice to throw our hands up in the air and say, “I don’t know, but it could be true!” Because sometimes believing is all we have. Sometimes, it just feels good to think that anything is possible…even when the world tells us anything but.
As this year dwindles and a new one is about to take form, I’m facing a lot of uncertainty that I wasn’t planning for. My stomach is in knots, my anxiety is at an unwelcome high, and I don’t know what direction to step forward in because I don’t know exactly what the end goal is anymore. In the meantime, there’s gift shopping to do, a costly health insurance plan to choose, and a pile of laundry waiting downstairs. At the end of the day, all I really want is happiness, joy, purpose, and fulfillment (who doesn’t?), and for the time being, I’m willing to find some of that in the promise of “Santa.”
It seems the only way I can figure to combat the future is to delight in the present. To hang the Christmas wreathes, to string the lights, to watch the fuzzy movies, to drink the eggnog, to make the plans with family and friends, to pop my 26-year-old *NSync Christmas CD into the player of my 12-year-old car and sing. I mean, really, what’s the harm? The laundry will still get done.
I guess what I’m saying - and I hope you’ll agree - is that I believe in Santa Claus because I believe in believing. I believe in falling down and getting back up again, however long it takes. I believe in being happy when there’s any reason to be. I believe that, maybe, people are actually a little nicer to one another at this time of year, and maybe we’re not as alone as we think. And I believe that, despite the uncertainties of life, we can thrive through it. I can get just as strung-out as the next person, complaining about traffic, feeling rushed and busy, wondering why ‘that guy’ has to be so mean, but if tinsel and lights can ease that pain, why not let them? There are just two weeks left until Christmas is already “over” and the decorations start coming down. Why not embrace the excuse to be merry right now?
Heather, this hit close to home. I want to thank you for reminding me to stop worrying about things but, to enjoy the season! Hope you and your family are safe (I don’t know how close the storm that hit Tennessee was to you). Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I BELIEVE!