a protocol for thriving
Over the last few weeks, I haven’t been striving for anything.
On the surface level, this probably sounds bad. What is life if you aren’t picking apart, hustling, and improving? Who are you if not becoming better? Who will you be if you just be?
But the truth is, when I wasn’t striving, I was happier. I felt more at peace. I sat in the goat pasture and took pictures of the dog lounging in the shade of a tree because it brought me joy and I had nowhere else to be. I didn’t even realize what was missing.
That is, until the panic set in.
I listened to a podcast with a writer who is writing and releasing a best-selling book every year. She only started writing 4 years ago. And she’s not the only one - there’s a whole slew of young, successful female writers churning out new books with a vengeance.
I, on the other hand, can barely manage to put out a single essay in a month.
This, of course, only got me feeling down bad on myself, moodily singing along to TTPD in the pouring rain. As a self-proclaimed self-help junkie, what was I doing if not helping myself? Yes, I was happy when I wasn’t worrying about what was next. But also, if I wasn’t worried about it, would there be anything “next” to come? Or would I just stay, floundering, albeit joyous in my ignorance?
A horoscope for the coming weeks suggested I create a protocol for my own thriving. “Rather than contemplating your complex inner motivations,” it read, “take stock of the uncomplicated joys that cushion your days and center you...Doing more of what your body gravitates toward will keep you grounded and glowing.”
Grounded and Glowing. This sounded nice. And it got me wondering if it wasn’t reflecting a new truth I had already encountered:
What if self-help is only making us more sick? What if embellishing our lives with potential solutions isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?
Think about it: As buzzwords like authenticity, mental health and “living your best life” take over our daily dialogues, it’s hard not to self-diagnose, to look for more answers, and to come face-to-face with all of the things we could be doing better. We never really stop to question if we’re fine just as we are.
And then, when we are in moments of potential presence and connection, we start feeling more distant and disconnected as we worry if we’re doing it right…or if we should be doing more. We overcomplicate everything. (or at least, I do)
Last summer, I wrote a little bit about a vacation we took to Tybee Island at the end of August. The trip was already short - to save money and minimize time off - and was cut a little shorter by bad weather. While I anticipated the ease and beauty of island life, I had a hard time embodying it, consistently preoccupied by the sense that I was missing something. Ultimately, I spent most of the trip worrying about what had happened the day before and what we were going to do next. I wasn’t present; I was disappointed. And I ended the trip feeling even more so.
But tomorrow, we’re hitting the road. I’m getting a do-over. And I’m already prepping my mind and my spirit for (a very laid back definition of) success. Beach vacations aren’t supposed to be about doing it right. They’re supposed to be about doing what feels right. Doing what gets you grounded and glowing.
It doesn’t sound so hard when you make a very attainable list!
So here it is. A Protocol for Thriving:
Listen to the ocean.
Read fun books.
Find delight in the seagulls.
Search for shells and shark teeth.
Touch the Spanish Moss.
Nourish your body - and use plenty of SPF.
Silence your mind.
Soak up the sunshine.
Wear the short shorts.
Relish in the connection.
Stay off the phone.
Write by hand.
And most importantly -
Don’t worry about making something of it; just be in it.
I’ll be sure to tell y’all how it all goes, but in the meantime, consider your own protocols - for life, for the summer, for this very moment. You might be surprised what you discover.